white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
