Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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