remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
So. Much. Porn.
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