Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize