sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
