they need to just BURY HIM!
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
