this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize