As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
