I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Randomize
