So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
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