how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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