I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
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