so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
