Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
