Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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