U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
