Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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