Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
