Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
