He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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