that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize