You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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