Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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