All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
