this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
