He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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