I puked a lego.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
