Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
