beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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