WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Randomize
