Where is the hickey?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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