Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
