Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
