Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize