Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
