Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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