Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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