I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
