i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize