we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
