Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
