wake up i wanna do it froggy style
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
