Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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