You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
it's like iHOP with fire
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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