I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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