I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
