I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
