im six kinds of drunk right now
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
