He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
