I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
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