in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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