Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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