Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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