So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize