only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
