I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
