Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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