my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
