your parents love me but you hate me
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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