We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
