I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
