he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize