No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
