No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
