I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
