I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize