do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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