She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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