the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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