Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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